Reflections of a Therapist

         Just a date on a page. Some might wonder why it is written in this format while for others it might  be completely normal.  Today I was filling out paperwork for someone in England and as I wrote the date this way I almost   went to scratch it out and fix it as I have so many times before because after all, this way is not American way. As I went to do this though I realized I could leave it.  This person a continent away  also put her date the same way.  While this may not seem like much, it reminded me of the two worlds I once lived in. One where the  date is written one way while the other world required another way.       In a recent blog called "Somewhere  between the Lion King and Hotel Rwanda" I shared about how so  often people perceive my life to have  been a certain way. There are times I have laughed and corrected  and other times I have remained silent  as if sta...

Recently I saw a video of a guy succeeding at something in a gym or at least that was the assumption based on what was shown. Seeing the video made me really happy because this person is someone I truly like and probably one of the most kind, humble, and genuine people I have encountered at this particular gym. It also made me pause, reflect, and even ask a few questions. Was that success to him? What has this individual overcome internally and externally to achieve what he achieved? What would be the most helpful thing the community could say or do to acknowledge what we witnessed meaning how would he want to be celebrated if at all? Further I wondered about how others witnessing this might feel and respond. It’s easy to compare. It’s easy to even feel like a failure in that comparison. It’s easy to even want to achieve what others can achieve but what if that isn’t the deepest goal? What if underneath it all we all want to be loved, feel successful (however that is defined), and want...

Recently I was out doing a day hike with some friends, and while many of them know about current day to day things in my life, few of them really know the layers beyond what’s present so when one of the individuals brought up what they imagined in their brain when they perceived what my life was while in Africa, I was somewhere between curious and ready for what would be said. I have heard a variety of things in my life and am now rarely shocked by people’s comments or perceptions. The person mentioned the Lion King and in the moment I neither agreed or disagreed. I just waited for the conversation to continue, die out, or shift (probably as I have many times). The conversation continued as another person mentioned “or Hotel Rwanda” and while this was not profound in the moment, days later it lingered. When I become curious as to why the conversation lingered, I think perhaps it was because it spoke to the two extremes and gave consideration to the other side or another way it could ha...