Reflections of a Therapist

Recently I saw a video of a guy succeeding at something in a gym or at least that was the assumption based on what was shown. Seeing the video made me really happy because this person is someone I truly like and probably one of the most kind, humble, and genuine people I have encountered at this particular gym. It also made me pause, reflect, and even ask a few questions. Was that success to him? What has this individual overcome internally and externally to achieve what he achieved? What would be the most helpful thing the community could say or do to acknowledge what we witnessed meaning how would he want to be celebrated if at all? Further I wondered about how others witnessing this might feel and respond. It’s easy to compare. It’s easy to even feel like a failure in that comparison. It’s easy to even want to achieve what others can achieve but what if that isn’t the deepest goal? What if underneath it all we all want to be loved, feel successful (however that is defined), and want...

Recently I was out doing a day hike with some friends, and while many of them know about current day to day things in my life, few of them really know the layers beyond what’s present so when one of the individuals brought up what they imagined in their brain when they perceived what my life was while in Africa, I was somewhere between curious and ready for what would be said. I have heard a variety of things in my life and am now rarely shocked by people’s comments or perceptions. The person mentioned the Lion King and in the moment I neither agreed or disagreed. I just waited for the conversation to continue, die out, or shift (probably as I have many times). The conversation continued as another person mentioned “or Hotel Rwanda” and while this was not profound in the moment, days later it lingered. When I become curious as to why the conversation lingered, I think perhaps it was because it spoke to the two extremes and gave consideration to the other side or another way it could ha...

                   It has taken me a week to really process the layers of my recent trip to WY. All around it was an  incredible trip but like any trip, there are always ups and downs and layers. Many words to describe the experience. This trip truly could not be described in one word.  For me personally it really started prior to this, when a year ago I  was in WY for the first time and on a wilderness trip as a participant. One of my goals for that trip was to learn and to ultimately feel more confident in the wilderness. Back in 2020, being out in the wilderness guiding was a distant dream and being back in WY not even really on my radar.  Life has a way of throwing surprises at us though. Fast forward to this trip and driving through the small town of Laramie and I noticed it felt a bit surreal. This time I had the responsibility of facilitator/guide and yet like most of the times in my life somehow I knew I ...

This past week I walked into a coffee shop. If you know me well, you know this is nothing unusual in my world but rather more like a daily ritual in my life. A pattern I only deviate from when I am out in the wilderness hiking and even then there are times I wish a cappuccino or iced pour-over would randomly appear on the rock I am passing by. To date, this has not yet occurred.  On this busy day as I awaited my cappuccino, I was thinking about all which had already happened in my world this week and what was next on my calendar. Multiple projects were on my mind and my energy was directed to a wondering of how to keep balancing them all and remain balanced internally at the same time. As I was thinking and waiting, I noticed the art, art which reflected back to me what I felt in that moment. I could literally see all the boxes as the people I see each week and as the meetings on my calendar. I could see each box as the various things I have said "yes" to in my life. Some of ...

       Recently I was sitting at a coffee shop. This is not unusual for me but more like a daily occurrence. Just as common is me reaching for my headphones and as I am doing so, overhearing a conversation occurring nearby. These conversations are often about relationships, life, and often are ones that leave me wondering what would happen if they knew I was a therapist. I always wonder if they would change the conversation or if I would be asked questions. During these times of overhearing these conversations my brain is often screaming either “NO” or “YES”. Other times I want to go join the person and offer support. There was even one time I almost went and gave someone my business card. It was brutally painful the “advice” the person was being given as even more brutal to notice the tears in her eyes as she listening to what I called “unhelpful advice”.       During the most recent time, I was sitting and listening to a group of young people ...

Tonight as I reflect on my day, the words still linger, "Not IF, but WHEN". The morning started with a few individual therapy sessions, much like most Wednesday mornings. Then from there I had a mid-day book club meeting for work on my calendar and then 4 more back to back individual therapy sessions. I knew that it would be a day where I would hear a lot and be processing trauma with individuals. I knew that I would likely see tears and bear witness to a range of emotions. This was all expected within my day. I also assumed as I started the day that the easiest or lightest part of my day would be facilitating the lunch book club meeting and facilitating the discussion around the book "The Body Keeps the Score".  This is a book I have read multiple times and I felt rather prepared for the discussion and even with a few minor interruptions, the discussion was a win in my mind.  As I walked out I had a brief discussion with a co-worker. She shared something that reson...