1/31/2022 and 31/1/2022; Explained or Understood

  

    

Just a date on a page. Some might wonder why it is written in this format while for others it might be completely normal. 

Today I was filling out paperwork for someone in England and as I wrote the date this way I almost went to scratch it out and fix it as I have so many times before because after all, this way is not American way. As I went to do this though I realized I could leave it. This person a continent away also put her date the same way. 

While this may not seem like much, it reminded me of the two worlds I once lived in. One where the date is written one way while the other world required another way. 

    

In a recent blog called "Somewhere between the Lion King and Hotel Rwanda" I shared about how so often people perceive my life to have been a certain way. There are times I have laughed and corrected and other times I have remained silent as if stamping others assumptions as true because that has seemed easier than taking the time to explain it all. Some days I cannot even fathom it all myself so how to explain it to another can be quite complex. While some friends know the context and can put two and two together, others guess why I do something the way I do, and then there are many just left confused. 

 There are times in my life it has been a struggle. Do I leave the other in confusion or try to tell the stories of a life that was full of confusion. Black or white? French or English? Utensils or hands. It all depended on continent and culture. It all came down to time, place, and people. Eventually one learns the where and when. Two worlds are created. 

While it might make sense to clarify because after all isn't that good communication, what is much more complex is how does one give clarity when they are still in a state of confusion. So often as individuals attempt to sift through the complex pages of their life, they share pieces of stories and perhaps are even still trying to put the pieces together themselves. These piece often sound confusing to the listener and so then the listener responds back in confusion to an already confused person trying to figure out their confusing life and the conversation ultimately just gives more evidence to the individual that there life was in fact confusing. It often becomes an exhausting conversation. 

Recently though I had a much more simplistic encounter. I was talking with someone and she asked where I grew up. I answered and was fully prepared to have to explain it all again, just as I had done many times before. I was ready to explain the where, why, when, etc. when she simply stated back "for me it was Niger". In that moment something completely unexpected happened. Relief swept across my whole body, my shoulders dropped and with a sigh as if I was releasing the weight of the world I immediately began to cry. I shared with her "wow, I am not sure why but I deeply felt that". She said, "yes, I saw that". I said, "I guess it's that for once I don't have to explain. I know you get it". 

Her knowledge, her language, her word choice, and her lack of needing any terminology defined and the questions she asked told me she got it. While we both understood that our lives although similar in many ways were also different there was a deep understanding. One that books cannot teach and in that moment so much repair was felt from the thousands of times I have had to explain because this time no explanation was asked for or even needed. Not needing to explain left me able to just be in the being. 

While I certainly will keep explaining things to friends and telling the stories that may sound like confusing pieces of a huge puzzle, in this moment I was simply gifted with such relief and connection.